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This Page Updated On June 21, 2003


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Grandmothers Defined:



Grandmothers come to call carrying shopping bags with Very Interesting Bulges.

Grandmas don't just say "that's nice" - they reel back and roll their eyes and throw up their hands and smile. You get your money's worth out of grandmas

Grandmothers are the people who take delight in hearing babies breathing into the telephone.

Grandmothers are built to cuddle into, like a duvet.

Grandmothers are good at sitting on the floor to play, but they can be terribly difficult to get upright again.

Grandmothers have bottomless handbags.

Grandmas bring flowers when your pet dies...and sit and cry with you.

Grandmas give you the cherry off the top.

All grandmothers like letters. Even if they just consist of a squiggle and a dirty finger mark.

Grandmothers have old feet and young hearts.

Grandmas outlast tyrants. That's why the world survives.


Grandma, did God Make You?


The little girl was sitting in her grandma's lap as she read her a goodnight story.

From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch her wrinkled cheek.

By and by, she was alternately stroking her own cheek, then hers again. Finally she spoke......

"Grandma, did God make you?"

"Yes, sweetheart" she answered, "God made me a long time ago."

"Oh she said," then "Grandma, did God make me too?"

"Yes, indeed honey" she assured her. "God made you just a little while ago."

"Oh" she said. Feeling their respective faces again, she observed.....

"God's getting better at it now, isn't he?


What is a Grandmother/Grandfather? Taken from papers written by a class of 8 year olds.



1. A grandmother is a lady who has no little children of her own. She likes other people's.

2. A grandfather is a man grandmother.

3. Grandmothers don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see them.

4. They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run.

5. It is good if they drive us to the store and have lots of quarters for us.

6. When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.

7. They show us and talk to us about the color of the flowers and also don't step on "cracks."

8. They don't say, "Hurry up."

9. Usually grandmothers are fat, but not too fat to tie your shoes.

10. They wear glasses and funny underwear.

11. They can take their teeth and gums out.

12. Grandmothers have to be smart. They have to answer questions like, "Do worms yawn?" and, "How come dogs chase cats?", did the cow really jump over the moon", "why do people kiss under the Mistletoe?"

13. When they read to us, they don't skip. They don't mind if we ask for the >same story over again.

14. Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have television, because they are the only grown ups who like to spend time with us.

15. They know we should have snack-time before bedtime and they say prayers with us every time, and kiss us even when we've acted bad.

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